Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
