I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
