It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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