planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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