I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
