I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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