It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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