in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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