Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
