I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
