I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
