I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
