I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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