So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
