Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
