when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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