There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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