I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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