you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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