im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
