You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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