you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
