Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
