u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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