dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
