she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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