she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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