pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
