His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
