This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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