My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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