So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize