I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize