I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
