Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
