Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
