Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
