lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
