i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
