Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
