it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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