My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
