The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize