how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
