I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His hands were made for my vagina.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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