she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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