Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
