Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
