where am i from again
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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