there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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