; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
