Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
