im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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