The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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