If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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