Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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