He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you