awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
