was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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