I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
