Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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