He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
