How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
