I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
