how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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